Believe it or not, the key to being a great bedmate and enjoying yourself in the sack isn't all about having technicalsex skills. What's essential is being able to let go. In fact, 46 percent of guys surveyed by Cosmo said the one thing they want more of in bed is enthusiasm. "You need to tune out the world and focus your entire body and mind on the erotic experience," says sex therapist Linda De Villers, Ph.D., author of Love Skills. We'll show you how to throw yourself full-throttle into the action.
** Be in the Moment **
It's hard to be unbridled in bed when you're worried about jiggly thighs, squooshy sex noises and whether your man is enjoying himself. To be fully present in the encounter, you have to get into a no-stress, thought-free zone by minimizing any mood-killing distractions. "Turn down the lights so you're not as body-conscious, unplug the phone to avoid interruption and pop in soft music that will inspire your sexual side," says love coach Pam Spurr, Ph.D., author of Make Love All Night and Talk to Him in the Morning.
Then, get in the right mind-set by focusing solely on all the sensations. "Think about how he feels inside you, visualize him going in and out and rubbing against you," says Spurr. "Not only will it help you get into a rhythm with your man, but it'll also make the sex more of a physical, tactile experience rather than a psychological one."
**Make Some Noise**
You may feel silly when an "Oh God, yes!" escapes your mouth during orgasm, but most men love the background vocals. "When you make sounds during sex, it lets your guy know that he's pleasing you, which is a major turn-on for him," De Villers points out.
But how do you go from silent sex kitten to out-loud lioness? To start, don't fake it: If you try to make noises that don't come naturally, you'll feel more awkward. Instead, just start slow. "When you feel a moan coming on, resist your urge to stifle yourself and let it out," says Betty Dodson, Ph.D., author of Orgasms for Two. "You may also want to try saying what's in your head, like, 'That feels so good,' or 'Keep doing that.'" As you become more comfortable being audible, you won't worry so much about what you sound like during an intense, climactic moment.
**Get in the Game**
To truly unleash your inner sex goddess, you have to adopt an assertive erotic attitude and be a proactive participant in the action. Meaning: You need to play the role of bedroom boss and let your man know what you want. "When you take charge of the sexual encounter, you're able to use your whole body and control your own pleasure," says De Villers. "That can't happen when you're pinned underneath him like a dead fish."
So throw your man on the bed, hop on top and ride away until you reach your maximum passion potential. Switch things up by gyrating in circles or thrusting back and forth rather than just up and down. Change the pace or angle of penetration. Not only will the sack session be as wild and crazy as you want it to be, but your guy will get off on your calling the shots too.